Blogging 100 Cupboards by Nathan Wilson--Part 4

When we last left Henry, he was busy using his new pocket-knife to scrape off the plaster around the door with the two knobs. Well, he fell asleep mid-scraping. When he woke up, he was understandably covered in plaster and plaster dust and big chunks of plaster. At first he thought that he had slept late again, so he got up and ran downstairs to shower. He fell down the stairs (tsk, tsk) and woke up Beatrice and Peaches. Peaches was all like "Aww go back to bed already!" (slightly paraphrased) and Beatrice was just like "Huh? I'm going back to bed..." Henry showered, and then ran back upstairs. His room was (predictably) a wreck, and it was very dusty. Seeing how wimpy Henry is, I'm suprised he wasn't like "Aww man, I'm allergic to dust!" Instead he was all like "I gotta hide this!" I was pleased.

While Henry was cleaning up, Mr. Wilson finally explained what was under all that plaster; a bunch of cabinets (but since this book is supposed to have taken place a long time ago, it calls them "cupboards"). There were a few paragraphs describing a particular cabinet, so I guess this one is important. It was wooden, and the book claimed that only two people alive knew what kind of wood it was. Some dude living in Orlando, and some lady living in France. The lady living in France's husband fought in WWI. When he came home, he brought a tree with him. About this next part: I was completely and totally suprised (sacrasm hand raised). But seriously, pay attention! (cus this'll probably be important in later chapters or books) The tree that he brought back with him was the kind of tree that the Special Cabinet was made of. Also important (probably--I've never read this before): the lady's husband made her a jewelry box out of a branch of the tree before he died.

Anyway, there were 35(ish) cabinets (I thought there were 100!), and Henry couldn't get any of them open. They were all very different from each other, and there's a handy picture on the cover of the book.

After vainly trying to get rid of all the fine dust, Henry just scooped up the plaster and some of the plaster dust into his blanket, and lugged it to the barn. He was so tired afterward (weakling) that he fell asleep in the grass next to the barn.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Peaches was upset that Henry was missing, so she told Mr. Thin to find him. It didn't take long to find Henry, passed out next to the barn (word structure totally intended--Ebrownies if you caught it). If I found someone passed out next to a barn early in the morning, I would be very suspicious...but since this is a book and Henry is only 12, Mr. Thin doesn't suspect anything. Instead of waking Henry up (which he should have done--sleeping outside on the bare ground isn't healthy), Mr. Thin just sat there and waited until Henry woke up on his own (lazy, much?). Eventually, he got tired of waiting, and shook Henry awake. Henry almost freaked out, but then realized that it was only his uncle.

Note: as Mr. Thin hasn't done anything evil, I am starting to like him (a tiny bit), so I will henceforward be calling him Thinmint, since I like Girl Scout Thinmints (a tiny bit).

Remember Thinmint selling tumbleweeds to Japanese businessmen for $1,500? Well, they backed out of the offer and bought some other guy's tumbleweed, just cus he marketed it as "Genuine Texas Tumbleweed." And we all know that Texas tumbleweeds are much more valuable and desirable than Kansas tumbleweeds (sacrasm hand raised, eyes rolling).

After dumping on Henry, Thinmint and his nephew went back to the house. On the way back, Henry was all like "Um, do you have any more posters?" because he was a bad kid and had been scraping the walls away. Man, my parents would totally kill me (maybe literally). Thinmint was like "I don't think so, but I'll look around". Thinmint is seriously mentally handicapped if he has more than one poster of a bad baseball team (and I meant "bad" in the way that it's supposed to be used, not "bad" as in "good"). When they were almost to the house, Thinmint asked Henry about the pocketknife. Henry (being the wimpy, sheltered rich kid that he is) freaked out because he's bad at lying. Henry hesitates for a minute (never hesitate while lying!) and then says "I'll get it for you". I don't recall Thinmint asking for the knife, but whatever.

Thinmint saw the knife and said that Henry needs a new one--this one's all broken up and stuff, and it's useless (that's because pocketknives aren't for taking the plaster off walls to find magic cabinets!). Henry left Thinmint alone to resharpen the knife, and went up to his room, where Beatrice scared the living daylights out of him. She had already taken the poster down, and was inspecting the cabinets (rock on, Henrietta/Beatrice! Finally, somebody who knows how to get down to business...). This next part will be easier to blog in dialogue form, slightly paraphrased of course. My silent commentary will be in red.

Beatrice: What do you think the cabinets are for? Good question
Henry: Probably to put things in. very practical answer, Henry. I mean, interesting things *face palm* shoulda stopped while you were ahead
Beatrice: How many do you think there are? 100. Read the cover of your own book
Henry: I bet they cover the whole wall must be a big wall, or small cabinets
Beatrice: You tried to open every one? I would hope so
Henry: I did (good job). I wrecked my knife getting the plaster off last night You're not supposed to use a knife for that. I keep trying to tell you. Find a chisel or something., and I can't use it tonight because your dad is sharpening it again. He'll get suspicious if it's dull again tomorrow.
Beatrice: There are some old tools in the basement, and some more in the barn. I bet there's a chisel Beatrice just moved up my list of favorite characters.
Henry: Good idea (um, logical and obvious idea).
Beatrice: I like the white cabinet the best I like white, too It looks the happiest say wha?. Some of the other ones don't seem to want to be here, but the white one looks like it likes it here (O.o o.O)
Henry: What do you mean? Good question. I think Beatrice is losing her marbles.... I mean, it looks nice, but how the heck is it happier than the others? I don't think your supposed to call them happy standing ovation
Beatrice: Well, what about sad? um, cabinets usually don't have feelings. Unless they're magic cabinets. The cabinets in Beauty and the Beast had feelings. The little metal one looks sad what metal one? The one with the wierd glowing strip on the cover?
Henry: I don't think it looks sad. It's probably happy to be out from under the plaster now Henry thinks cabinets have feelings

I'm switching back to paragraph form now.

The cabinet that Henry and Beatrice were discussing had a glass strip on it that was painted black. It took a while for the kids to figure out that it was glass, because they thought it was plastic until they scratched the black paint off. And of course we don't get to see what's in the cabinet because Mr. Wilson is mean. Peaches called the kids downstairs to eat lunch (grilled cheese sandwiches that probably weren't even put on a grill). During the table convo, Peaches asks Thinmint to open the locked door to Grandpa's Room (remember the creepy old dude with the silky robe?). So, after lunch, Thinmint got his chainsaw and went at the door with it. Then the chapter ends, and of course we don't get to see if he gets the door open.

Closing Thoughts:

Here's my list of favorite characters in order: Beatrice, Henry, the other Willis girls, Peaches, Thinmint, that cat on the cover, Zeke Johnson, then Grandpa, then those Japanese businessmen.
Predictions:

Grandpa's bedroom door won't open.
Stuff that I accidentally left out, and then realized might be important later on:

I getting better at not leaving stuff out! Brownie points for me!