Blogging 100 Cupboards by Nathan Wilson--Part 5

When last we left off (5 stars for odd sentence structure), Thinmint was trying to open the door of Grandpa's room.

After messing around with the knob and some screws, Thinmint tried to bash the door in. Of course, the door isn't giving up that easily. Thinmint ended up flat on his back, feet in the air, and totally winded. Too bad I couldn't see that...anyway, Thinmint tried tons of ways to get the door open, including an axe (which only scratched the door, not to mention that it dulled the blade) and a chainsaw (which Thinmint almost killed himself with). Though Wilson took forever to get to it and I had long since figured it out, he finally told us that the door was made of that special wood (don't remember? Read paragraph 2 of Part 4). After watching Minty's antics for a while, Henry got bored and went to his room to work on his [not-so] secret cabinets.

Since Minty had re-sharpened the blade, it was about 1/3 smaller (judging by results, Thinmint isn't particularly handy around the house). But it was sharp, and that's all that matters. Since Henry's a wimp, he was afraid to cut his finger. According to the book, the knife was all like "You wouldn't be the first. Why do you think they got rid of me?" Um, okay then. After contemplating the knife, Henry finally got to work. He started scraping the black paint off of the small cabinet's strip of glass. It took him awhile, so I was thinking that something remotely interesting would happen (not a common theme in this book). But of course nothing happens--Henry can't even see through the glass. Just then, Beatrice/Henrietta came up the stairs. For some reason, even though he knows its his cousin, Henry jumps up and closes the door and basically acts like hes trying not to act suspicous. Anyway, since Henrietta is the only one who has any sense, she remembered to bring actual tools to help with the excavation of the cabinets. Also, she brought more posters (from Kansas City U, of course). Since its easier for me to blog in dialogue form when the context concerns Henry and Beatrice, I'm switching right now. The words in parentheses are my thoughts as I'm reading the sentences.

Henry: I got the paint of, but I still can't see anything. (zzzzz...)
Beatrice: I think it's a mailbox (what? and why would there be a mailbox in Henry's room? In the attic?)
Henry: What do you mean a mailbox? (a box of mail)
Beatrice: The kind in post offices (does anyone still use those? oh, right these kids are supposedly in the past). I used to go to the post office with Mom sometimes, and there are little boxes like this there (and its fun to try and open them)
Henry: You mean post office boxes? (isn't that what she said?) Why would there be a post office box in my bedroom? (isn't that what I said?)
Beatrice: Why would any of these be in your bedroom? (*applause* good point, Henrietta)
Henry: I don't know. I guess someone could have just been a sort of collector (of cabinet doors?). You know, of things with doors (this person belongs in the nuthouse). They must have just liked cupboards (were they an interior designer? Cus that's the only person I can think of who would collect cabinets)
Beatrice: No, it has to be more exciting than that (I would hope so, considering that the book is about them). Somebody hid them all, so they're supposed to be secret (so much for that). We have to get them open and find out why (they could be housing a rare, unkillable breed of black widow cockroaches that when unleashed would kill the entire population of the earth. Maybe you shouldn't open them)
Henry: Do you think we'll ever be able to see through this little one? (Yeah, cus it's the first one you noticed. That's how books work)

*Henry and Beatrice wipe the glass with their spit* Ew.

Henry: It's clear enough, but I still can't see anything (then what the heck do you think is "clear enough"? obviously not "clear enough to see", which is the point of glass being clear). We need a flashlight.

Beatrice then goes off to get a flashlight, and on the way back in, she turns off the room light so that the room goes pitch black. Meanwhile Henry gets all excited, but then started wondering if the contents of secret cabinets would be good. Finally! Either Henry is getting smarter, or he's a really big wuss and is just afraid of getting his hands dirty. After bending into all kinds of crazy positions in order to see into the glass, Beatrice noticed an envelope in the box. She tried to get it, but then there was a big flash of light (typical of fantasy books) and they fell off the bed. When they got up and looked at the cabinet again, it was open and swinging around (told ya they'd get it open). There was wind coming through the door, and the kids could see trees blowing through the other side.

Important note: Henry found a key in the cabinet. I'm sure that'll be important later.

The two Henrys then argue about whether or not the cabinets are magic (I think they are). Henry thinks its quantum physics because hes a rich wimpy pale kid who hasn't ever been outside and spends his days reading dictionaries. Beatrice thinks its magic because shes read too many fairy tale books and because she doesn't understand quantum physics. Henry, in an attempt to avoid further exploring the door (total wimp) said that he thinks something dangerous might be in there. Now, I know there's a big possiblity of something dangerous, but I'm curious. And, its a book about children. Prediction: they'll find something bad (either in this book or a later one) and then save the world. At any rate, they didn't explore the cabinet more because Peaches was calling them downstairs.

Thinmint still didn't get the door open, but he did manage to accidentally chop a hole in the floor with his chainsaw. So, the chapter ends with the the whole family going to a barbecue.

Closing thoughts:

This book is stupid predictable.

Predictions:

Henry and Beatrice have a conversation that involves Beatrice being curious and adventurous (though slightly reckless) and Henry being wimpy and scared and practical.