Blogging 100 Cupboards by Nathan Wilson--Part 3

After a rough night, Henry woke up and went downstairs (this is sounding relatively normal, so far). There, he saw Mrs. Peach. She was grinding wormy apples up, and there was a big, black pot on the fireplace. Maybe Mrs. Peach is a witch...or she could just be making applesauce (I think she's a witch--she's married to the villianous Mr. Thin, after all). Henry ate a bowl of cereal, and drank milk that was so fresh it left a film on his tongue. Ew! I hate tongue films! Apparently though, "[Henry's] tongue didn't mind." When he finished this mundane breakfast, Mrs. Peach sent him to the barn, where Mr. Thin was lying in wait to catch his prey...alright, so she didn't say it that way. She just told Henry that his uncle wanted to talk to him.

I don't know about Henry (cus he's wierd and kind of a wimp), but anytime someone says they want to talk to me, I get scared. People don't say "I want to talk to you" if they're just looking for a friendly chat--if they are, they just start talking (normal people, anyway), or send an email. Think about it--you wouldn't send an email to someone saying "Your uncle wants to email you." Okay, back on track:

Henry went unsuspectingly to the barn (which he couldn't open at first), and into Mr. Thin's man cave. Upon entering the dirty, wide open barn, Henry hears his name called. Mr. Thin was summoning him to the loft (sorry, its just that "summoning" is fun to type). It was at this point that we find out a shocking truth: Henry has never used a ladder.

He is so spoiled and sheltered.

Overcoming his fear of heights, Henry figures out how to climb up a ladder, and gets into the loft. As soon as Henry gets up, Mr. Thin (whose real name is Frank) says "I need to spill the beans to somebody" OMG! Something's about to happen! Henry gives the very logical "What is it?" Then just as I was getting excited, all Mr. Thin does is pull open a drawer with a bunch of junk in it. Mr. Thin's big secret is that he sells stuff on ebay without telling his wife. And for some reason, he was able to sell 2 tumbleweeds to a Japanese businessman for $1,500 (swindler).

O.o. o.O. I want money to blow like that.

After this amazing revelation, Mr. Thin suggests that he and Henry go to town for ice cream. I love ice cream!

Oh, wait. I wonder if Mr. Thin is going to hurt Henry, and this book is really about a young boy's journey through his uncle's tortures from a sad, overprotected wimp, to a brave, real MAN! Or it could be just what the cover says: the result of when some guy stole C.S. Lewis' idea about going to other worlds from household doors. Man, I get distracted so easily!

As it turns out, nothing interesting happened while they were in town. They got ice cream, Henry wasn't tortured, and Mr. Thin didn't do anything evil. *sigh* In fact, he did something nice; he bought Henry a baseball glove and a dull pocketknife that he promised to sharpen. And then they went tumble-weed picking. When they got back, Henry recieved orders from Mr. Thin to not to tell Peaches what they had been doing.

At this point, I was bored. But guess what? Something remotely interesting finally happens! So, after dinner (meatloaf), Henry and his three cousins were sitting around arguing about what to do. "Beatrice" wanted to play Monopoly, while Anastasia wanted to play pirates. Penelope was reading (like a sensible older sister would). Henry was watching the two girls argue. Then, H-Dawg (I'm starting to like him again) says "Why do all three of you share a room? This is a big house." Penny explains that her dad uses one of the bedrooms for his tv (selfish), and her mom uses another for her sewing (necessary). And the other bedroom is Grandpa's room. "He's dead." Beatrice said.

Hold on, a minute! So, that means that the creepy dude with the purple robe wasn't Grandpa? Aww come on! Well then who the blazes is it?! I still think it's probably Grandpa, or his ghost. Ooh, that would be cool--a ghost!

H-dawg started thinking about the creepy dude from last night (that's right, use that brain!)--whom he supposedly forgot when he went to sleep--and wonders what his deal is. Henry then did what any half-sensible 12-year old would do: he went to Grandpa's room and tried to open the door. But it was locked (of course). Mr. Thin lost the key two years ago when Grandpa (supposedly) died. The girls left to go play "Hopscotch Cannibals" (wtheck?), and Henry (who doesn't like make-believe) went to his room in the attic to read.

Okay, the interesting part is coming, just hold on!

Henry sat down, and then chanced to look up (it always happens this way). There were two knobs in the wall. One of them was turning slowly, and making plaster rain down on Henry (how rude!). After a while, the knob stops turning. Then Henry freaks out again. The wall where the knobs are is an outside wall in the attic, which means that the girls can't be messing with him. He started picking with the plaster around the knobs, and saw that the knobs were surrounded by numbers. Ooh, they're combination locks! Unfortunately Henry gets all logical and figures out that there are 418 possible combinations to open the door. Beatrice scared him when she came up behind him and asked "Whatcha doin'?" Henry's all like "Uh, nothing. Nothing at all." Beatrice, being the smart girl that she is, is all like "Sure. Whatever. What are you doing?" Henry explains, and then says that he's tried 76 combinations already, and none of them work so far.

Beatrice: What do you think's inside?
Henry: I don't know. Probably somebody's old socks
My thought: So why are you working so hard to get to them?
Henry: Some fountain pens would be cool
My thought: *slaps forehead* You are so unimaginative. This book would really suck if all there was was socks and pens in the door.
Beatrice: I think it's a treasure map
My thought: At least her imagination is better off than Henry's
Beatrice: Hey, what are those other marks on the knobs?

It is at this point that we find out that there are three more marks on the knobs. So there are two dials, and two sub-dials. Henry isn't good enough at math to figure it out, but that means that there are 6,688 possible combinations. Henry and Beatrice decide to give up for the night, and they both go to bed. But Henry can't sleep again, so he spends the night messing with the knobs again. And of course the chapter ends, so both of you and me will have to wait till next week, or whenever I feel like writing another post.

Closing thoughts:

Maybe, just maybe, something interesting might happen. And if it does, I'll finish blogging the book.

Predictions:

Henry and Beatrice unlock the cabinets, and then Henry chickens out and won't go into any of them.

Stuff that I accidentally left out, and then realized might be important later on:

I got everything this time! Whoo-hoo!