The first chapter began with a relatively detailed description of Henry, Kansas. I now know that it is very quiet--so quiet, in fact, that the book says "There is never graffiti. Vandals would have to drive more than twenty miles to buy the spray paint".
Sounds like the kind of town my parents would like. And whoever heard of "vandals" buying spray paint?! If they buy spray paint, then the store owners could stop graffiti artists everywhere if they simply refused to sell spray paint to anyone with a history of graffiti-artisting.
Next, we learn that Mrs. Willis (the protaganist's aunt, also reffered to as Dotty or Dots) has no best dress. Yeah, that just jumps out of nowhere. I also know that Mrs. Willis smells like peaches, because she cans. She CANS?! When I read that, I officially knew that Henry, Kansas, is either hick town (apologies if you live there) or very stuck in the past.
Mr. Willis is described as being "thin". Apparently, that's all he is.
Almost immediately after I began to fell sorry for the poor kid who was inevitably coming to live with these people (cus that's what happens in books these days) a bus rolls up to the corner. A kid named Henry (who names their kid Henry anymore?!) gets out. The book says that he wasn't looking forward to living with his aunt and uncle (wha'd I tell ya?), not because he disliked them, but because he had lived a life in which he learned to not look forward to anything.
Oh...kay...
I think Mr. Wilson was trying to use a fancy pun or something when he wrote that, but it took me forever to get it. Maybe that's just me though...
As soon as Henry (the kid, not the town, Mr. Wilson needlessly points out) gets off the bus, his aunt (Mrs. Peach) hugs him really tightly, then says "We're so sorry about your parents."
Oh, poor kid. But this doesn't make much sense to me. Earlier (I neglected to tell you this part) the book said that Henry (the kid, not the town) hadn't seen the Willises since he was four (he's twelve now). Why in the heck would Henry (the...nevermind) get sent to live with people he doesn't know? Whatever. Books always go this way now. The formula for a book:
Unknown relative(s) + orphan/damaged kid(s) + weird kid(s) = Bestselling Book
Upon seeing his nephew, Mr. Willis (Mr. Thin) says "The truck's over there." How welcoming. Oh, wait! Maybe he's the bad guy! Bad guys usually aren't welcoming--especially thin ones. I've got my eye on you, Mr. Thin!
When the trio (that word is really fun to type: trio trio trio...) arrived at the Thin/Peach dwelling, three young girls (I guess they're Henry's cousins) meet them at the door. The youngest says "Hi! I'm Anastasia!" Henry gives a flat "I know." How does he know? He doesn't know these people for crying out loud! Anyway, Annie gets all offended and calls Henry rude. Henry says nothing (he's good at dealing with women, I see). Annie's all like "Well then what are my sisters' names?" Henry says flatly "Penny (the older one) and Henrietta". Oh, and guess what they call Henrietta for short? Henry. Mr. Wilson really likes that name. But, as it turns out, Henry (etta) prefers to be called Beatrice. Huh? O..k.
The three girls (Penny, "Beatrice", and Annie, in case you forgot) lead Henry on a forced tour.
I hate forced tours. Especially in books.
There is an almost-white cat, who doesn't like Henry at all. There's a room that they don't go in, but they called it "Grandpa's room." There is also a fridge that makes wierd noises. I bet that's where Mr. Thin keeps the bodies...
After the tour, the girls finally asks what's up with Henry's (henceforce affectionately reffered to as "H-Dawg", as he is my current favorite character) parents. About this next part: (1) Either H-Dawg is an imaginative liar, or (2) this book could get interesting.
H-Dawg's parents are travel writers, and were writing a book about riding bikes in South America. OMG! When is it coming out? I would totally read that book! (sarcasm hand raised) Anyway, while they were writing this book, they got kidnapped. That's where they are right now (and I bet it was Mr. Thin's fault). You would think that H-Dawg would get to travel a lot, but he said he's only been to Disney World and California (with a nanny, not his parents, who were probably writing about drinking coffee in France). After explaining is sadly lacking travel habits, Mr. Thin yells up the stairs "Scrub the bones!" This is how he says "Brush your teeth!" I told you he was evil.
Closing thoughts:
This is faintly reminiscent of the Chronicles of Narnia.
Predictions:
The creepy cat on the cover will be named Henry, as well as a can of peaches, a dog, and a chair. The fridge too, probably.
Stuff that I accidentally left out, and then realized might be important later on:
Penny's real name is Penelope.
The last time he visited the Willises, H-Dawg made the almost-white cat very mad.
Penny has a crush on some guy named Zeke Johnson.
The conversation between Henry and the girls took place in the attic, not at the front door. They moved upstairs after introductions.
H-Dawg's parents' names are Phil and (gag) Ursula.
Mr. Thin's real name is Frank.
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