Showing posts with label nathan wilson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nathan wilson. Show all posts

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Blogging 100 Cupboards by Nathan Wilson--Part 6

At the barbeque, Henry had his first tast of a soft drink. I nearly cried for Henry because he is so overly sheltered. I think I'll cut him some slack about his wimpiness because of his upbringing. After all, his parents were probably writing books about eating cheese in France, rather than fulfilling their parental obligations (such as stuffing Henry full of oreos, coke, and twinkies). Okay, back to the story.

So, anyway, Henry was working on his fourth pop can (root beer this time) and watching the other kids play baseball. The book says that Henry was scared of the boys. Why? Because they might ask him to play with them ad he doesn't know how to play baseball (it is for times like this that I keep extra slack cut and ready to serve). But no one asked him, so he kept watching. Until Zeke Johnson tossed him a glove and invited him to play. I'm not sure if you remember, but Penny (remember her? I didn't either at first. She's Beatrice's older sister) has a crush on this Zeke dude.

While Henry was "playing" baseball, Thinmint was talking to some guy named Billy. Basically, Peaches told Billy that Thinmint couldn't open Grandpa's door, and Billy thinks he knows how to get it open (yeah, right; something tells me that door will only open unless it wants to). But for some reason, Thinmint doesn't like Billy (ooh, family secretses maybe? Of course not...). Eventually though, Minty agrees to let Billy look at the door. They agreed not to tell Peaches (shame!).

Back to the game: Henry was up to bat. When the ball came, Henry [suprisingly] hit it (the force burned his baby-soft hands though. *snicker*). He made it all the way to first base! Yay! Go Henry! Racical accomlishment! (sarcasm hand raised).

When he got home, Henry made a beeline for the bathroom (shouldn't have drank so much pop). While he was in there, he thought about his accomplishments of the day. He had batted one single, and a double, and struck out a lot. He had also made friends with Zeke. As Henry made his way to his room, he heard wind blowing.

*Sigh*. This book has let me down way too many times. I'm not even going to bother getting my excitment socks on.

Obviously, the wind was coming from the cabinet that the kids had opened. But, for some reason, the floor and Henry's bed (which was under the cabinet in question) were soaking wet (I wonder if the cabinet leads to Forks, Washington. Or maybe a rainforest. But it can't be a rainforest because the wind was cold). Inside the cupboard there were trees. And he could smell dirt and moss (this cabinet really needs a good cleaning). And there were worms on the floor (ew...) Well, at least now we know that things can come out of the cabinets--but how are Henry and Beatrice going to get into that small of a cabinet ('cus you know they will).

Meanwhile, Billy and Thinmint were trying to get the door open. It didn't work. Billy even picked the lock, and then tried to open it. Even though the door was obviously not locked, it still wouldn't open. So Billy went home, and Thinmint picked up Peaches and the girls from the party (I thought they came home with Henry already?). When they arrived at home, Beatrice went to find Henry, and the other two girsl watched TV since Beatrice told them they couldn't com (rude child). But Anastasia ended up coming anyway (you go girl! Don't let your older sister boss you around!). At the door of Henry's room, she--like a good little sister--stopped to listen to the conversation inside. Then she opened the door and freaked out when she saw the worms. Then she threatened to tell Peaches that there was a giant puddle on the floor if Henry and Beatrice didn't explain to her what the heck was going on (snitch). Henry told her that it was from a raincloud. Henry, just because she's three years younger than you doesn't mean that she's a complete idiot. Obviously, Ana didn't believe him. She begged to be let in on the secret, but Beatrice wouldn't tell her because Ana has trouble keeping secrets (good reason). Henry seemed okay with Ana knowing, though. At any rate, on one explained to her.

That night, after everyone was asleep--okay, can someone please explain why books always include that little detail? I mean, obviously the protaganist isn't going to do whatever it is they are not supposed to be doing when everyone's awake--unless the people are in on the secret. Anyway, Henry messed with the plaster on the walls again. He couldn't sleep because he had had too much caffine from the soda (I love that feeling!). Beatrice helped him. They uncovered a lot more cabinets--there are now 99 visible. They both went to bed.

Later that night, Henry woke up suddenly. There was light coming from the mailbox cabinet. And there was a post card in it. As well as a pant leg in the window part. Of course the chapter ends here.

Closing Thoughts:

I would put my excitement socks on, but they're dirty after so many false alarms.

Predictions:

Ana finds out Henry and Beatrice's secret on her own. The last cabinet happens to be in Grandpa's room.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Blogging 100 Cupboards by Nathan Wilson--Part 5

When last we left off (5 stars for odd sentence structure), Thinmint was trying to open the door of Grandpa's room.

After messing around with the knob and some screws, Thinmint tried to bash the door in. Of course, the door isn't giving up that easily. Thinmint ended up flat on his back, feet in the air, and totally winded. Too bad I couldn't see that...anyway, Thinmint tried tons of ways to get the door open, including an axe (which only scratched the door, not to mention that it dulled the blade) and a chainsaw (which Thinmint almost killed himself with). Though Wilson took forever to get to it and I had long since figured it out, he finally told us that the door was made of that special wood (don't remember? Read paragraph 2 of Part 4). After watching Minty's antics for a while, Henry got bored and went to his room to work on his [not-so] secret cabinets.

Since Minty had re-sharpened the blade, it was about 1/3 smaller (judging by results, Thinmint isn't particularly handy around the house). But it was sharp, and that's all that matters. Since Henry's a wimp, he was afraid to cut his finger. According to the book, the knife was all like "You wouldn't be the first. Why do you think they got rid of me?" Um, okay then. After contemplating the knife, Henry finally got to work. He started scraping the black paint off of the small cabinet's strip of glass. It took him awhile, so I was thinking that something remotely interesting would happen (not a common theme in this book). But of course nothing happens--Henry can't even see through the glass. Just then, Beatrice/Henrietta came up the stairs. For some reason, even though he knows its his cousin, Henry jumps up and closes the door and basically acts like hes trying not to act suspicous. Anyway, since Henrietta is the only one who has any sense, she remembered to bring actual tools to help with the excavation of the cabinets. Also, she brought more posters (from Kansas City U, of course). Since its easier for me to blog in dialogue form when the context concerns Henry and Beatrice, I'm switching right now. The words in parentheses are my thoughts as I'm reading the sentences.

Henry: I got the paint of, but I still can't see anything. (zzzzz...)
Beatrice: I think it's a mailbox (what? and why would there be a mailbox in Henry's room? In the attic?)
Henry: What do you mean a mailbox? (a box of mail)
Beatrice: The kind in post offices (does anyone still use those? oh, right these kids are supposedly in the past). I used to go to the post office with Mom sometimes, and there are little boxes like this there (and its fun to try and open them)
Henry: You mean post office boxes? (isn't that what she said?) Why would there be a post office box in my bedroom? (isn't that what I said?)
Beatrice: Why would any of these be in your bedroom? (*applause* good point, Henrietta)
Henry: I don't know. I guess someone could have just been a sort of collector (of cabinet doors?). You know, of things with doors (this person belongs in the nuthouse). They must have just liked cupboards (were they an interior designer? Cus that's the only person I can think of who would collect cabinets)
Beatrice: No, it has to be more exciting than that (I would hope so, considering that the book is about them). Somebody hid them all, so they're supposed to be secret (so much for that). We have to get them open and find out why (they could be housing a rare, unkillable breed of black widow cockroaches that when unleashed would kill the entire population of the earth. Maybe you shouldn't open them)
Henry: Do you think we'll ever be able to see through this little one? (Yeah, cus it's the first one you noticed. That's how books work)

*Henry and Beatrice wipe the glass with their spit* Ew.

Henry: It's clear enough, but I still can't see anything (then what the heck do you think is "clear enough"? obviously not "clear enough to see", which is the point of glass being clear). We need a flashlight.

Beatrice then goes off to get a flashlight, and on the way back in, she turns off the room light so that the room goes pitch black. Meanwhile Henry gets all excited, but then started wondering if the contents of secret cabinets would be good. Finally! Either Henry is getting smarter, or he's a really big wuss and is just afraid of getting his hands dirty. After bending into all kinds of crazy positions in order to see into the glass, Beatrice noticed an envelope in the box. She tried to get it, but then there was a big flash of light (typical of fantasy books) and they fell off the bed. When they got up and looked at the cabinet again, it was open and swinging around (told ya they'd get it open). There was wind coming through the door, and the kids could see trees blowing through the other side.

Important note: Henry found a key in the cabinet. I'm sure that'll be important later.

The two Henrys then argue about whether or not the cabinets are magic (I think they are). Henry thinks its quantum physics because hes a rich wimpy pale kid who hasn't ever been outside and spends his days reading dictionaries. Beatrice thinks its magic because shes read too many fairy tale books and because she doesn't understand quantum physics. Henry, in an attempt to avoid further exploring the door (total wimp) said that he thinks something dangerous might be in there. Now, I know there's a big possiblity of something dangerous, but I'm curious. And, its a book about children. Prediction: they'll find something bad (either in this book or a later one) and then save the world. At any rate, they didn't explore the cabinet more because Peaches was calling them downstairs.

Thinmint still didn't get the door open, but he did manage to accidentally chop a hole in the floor with his chainsaw. So, the chapter ends with the the whole family going to a barbecue.

Closing thoughts:

This book is stupid predictable.

Predictions:

Henry and Beatrice have a conversation that involves Beatrice being curious and adventurous (though slightly reckless) and Henry being wimpy and scared and practical.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Blogging 100 Cupboards by Nathan Wilson--Part 3

After a rough night, Henry woke up and went downstairs (this is sounding relatively normal, so far). There, he saw Mrs. Peach. She was grinding wormy apples up, and there was a big, black pot on the fireplace. Maybe Mrs. Peach is a witch...or she could just be making applesauce (I think she's a witch--she's married to the villianous Mr. Thin, after all). Henry ate a bowl of cereal, and drank milk that was so fresh it left a film on his tongue. Ew! I hate tongue films! Apparently though, "[Henry's] tongue didn't mind." When he finished this mundane breakfast, Mrs. Peach sent him to the barn, where Mr. Thin was lying in wait to catch his prey...alright, so she didn't say it that way. She just told Henry that his uncle wanted to talk to him.

I don't know about Henry (cus he's wierd and kind of a wimp), but anytime someone says they want to talk to me, I get scared. People don't say "I want to talk to you" if they're just looking for a friendly chat--if they are, they just start talking (normal people, anyway), or send an email. Think about it--you wouldn't send an email to someone saying "Your uncle wants to email you." Okay, back on track:

Henry went unsuspectingly to the barn (which he couldn't open at first), and into Mr. Thin's man cave. Upon entering the dirty, wide open barn, Henry hears his name called. Mr. Thin was summoning him to the loft (sorry, its just that "summoning" is fun to type). It was at this point that we find out a shocking truth: Henry has never used a ladder.

He is so spoiled and sheltered.

Overcoming his fear of heights, Henry figures out how to climb up a ladder, and gets into the loft. As soon as Henry gets up, Mr. Thin (whose real name is Frank) says "I need to spill the beans to somebody" OMG! Something's about to happen! Henry gives the very logical "What is it?" Then just as I was getting excited, all Mr. Thin does is pull open a drawer with a bunch of junk in it. Mr. Thin's big secret is that he sells stuff on ebay without telling his wife. And for some reason, he was able to sell 2 tumbleweeds to a Japanese businessman for $1,500 (swindler).

O.o. o.O. I want money to blow like that.

After this amazing revelation, Mr. Thin suggests that he and Henry go to town for ice cream. I love ice cream!

Oh, wait. I wonder if Mr. Thin is going to hurt Henry, and this book is really about a young boy's journey through his uncle's tortures from a sad, overprotected wimp, to a brave, real MAN! Or it could be just what the cover says: the result of when some guy stole C.S. Lewis' idea about going to other worlds from household doors. Man, I get distracted so easily!

As it turns out, nothing interesting happened while they were in town. They got ice cream, Henry wasn't tortured, and Mr. Thin didn't do anything evil. *sigh* In fact, he did something nice; he bought Henry a baseball glove and a dull pocketknife that he promised to sharpen. And then they went tumble-weed picking. When they got back, Henry recieved orders from Mr. Thin to not to tell Peaches what they had been doing.

At this point, I was bored. But guess what? Something remotely interesting finally happens! So, after dinner (meatloaf), Henry and his three cousins were sitting around arguing about what to do. "Beatrice" wanted to play Monopoly, while Anastasia wanted to play pirates. Penelope was reading (like a sensible older sister would). Henry was watching the two girls argue. Then, H-Dawg (I'm starting to like him again) says "Why do all three of you share a room? This is a big house." Penny explains that her dad uses one of the bedrooms for his tv (selfish), and her mom uses another for her sewing (necessary). And the other bedroom is Grandpa's room. "He's dead." Beatrice said.

Hold on, a minute! So, that means that the creepy dude with the purple robe wasn't Grandpa? Aww come on! Well then who the blazes is it?! I still think it's probably Grandpa, or his ghost. Ooh, that would be cool--a ghost!

H-dawg started thinking about the creepy dude from last night (that's right, use that brain!)--whom he supposedly forgot when he went to sleep--and wonders what his deal is. Henry then did what any half-sensible 12-year old would do: he went to Grandpa's room and tried to open the door. But it was locked (of course). Mr. Thin lost the key two years ago when Grandpa (supposedly) died. The girls left to go play "Hopscotch Cannibals" (wtheck?), and Henry (who doesn't like make-believe) went to his room in the attic to read.

Okay, the interesting part is coming, just hold on!

Henry sat down, and then chanced to look up (it always happens this way). There were two knobs in the wall. One of them was turning slowly, and making plaster rain down on Henry (how rude!). After a while, the knob stops turning. Then Henry freaks out again. The wall where the knobs are is an outside wall in the attic, which means that the girls can't be messing with him. He started picking with the plaster around the knobs, and saw that the knobs were surrounded by numbers. Ooh, they're combination locks! Unfortunately Henry gets all logical and figures out that there are 418 possible combinations to open the door. Beatrice scared him when she came up behind him and asked "Whatcha doin'?" Henry's all like "Uh, nothing. Nothing at all." Beatrice, being the smart girl that she is, is all like "Sure. Whatever. What are you doing?" Henry explains, and then says that he's tried 76 combinations already, and none of them work so far.

Beatrice: What do you think's inside?
Henry: I don't know. Probably somebody's old socks
My thought: So why are you working so hard to get to them?
Henry: Some fountain pens would be cool
My thought: *slaps forehead* You are so unimaginative. This book would really suck if all there was was socks and pens in the door.
Beatrice: I think it's a treasure map
My thought: At least her imagination is better off than Henry's
Beatrice: Hey, what are those other marks on the knobs?

It is at this point that we find out that there are three more marks on the knobs. So there are two dials, and two sub-dials. Henry isn't good enough at math to figure it out, but that means that there are 6,688 possible combinations. Henry and Beatrice decide to give up for the night, and they both go to bed. But Henry can't sleep again, so he spends the night messing with the knobs again. And of course the chapter ends, so both of you and me will have to wait till next week, or whenever I feel like writing another post.

Closing thoughts:

Maybe, just maybe, something interesting might happen. And if it does, I'll finish blogging the book.

Predictions:

Henry and Beatrice unlock the cabinets, and then Henry chickens out and won't go into any of them.

Stuff that I accidentally left out, and then realized might be important later on:

I got everything this time! Whoo-hoo!