Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Mmmmhmmm, sure
Just to test so that I'm not wasting my time blogging, does anyone REALLY read this blog? If so, leave a comment.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Blogging 100 Cupboards by Nathan Wilson--Part 6
At the barbeque, Henry had his first tast of a soft drink. I nearly cried for Henry because he is so overly sheltered. I think I'll cut him some slack about his wimpiness because of his upbringing. After all, his parents were probably writing books about eating cheese in France, rather than fulfilling their parental obligations (such as stuffing Henry full of oreos, coke, and twinkies). Okay, back to the story.
So, anyway, Henry was working on his fourth pop can (root beer this time) and watching the other kids play baseball. The book says that Henry was scared of the boys. Why? Because they might ask him to play with them ad he doesn't know how to play baseball (it is for times like this that I keep extra slack cut and ready to serve). But no one asked him, so he kept watching. Until Zeke Johnson tossed him a glove and invited him to play. I'm not sure if you remember, but Penny (remember her? I didn't either at first. She's Beatrice's older sister) has a crush on this Zeke dude.
While Henry was "playing" baseball, Thinmint was talking to some guy named Billy. Basically, Peaches told Billy that Thinmint couldn't open Grandpa's door, and Billy thinks he knows how to get it open (yeah, right; something tells me that door will only open unless it wants to). But for some reason, Thinmint doesn't like Billy (ooh, family secretses maybe? Of course not...). Eventually though, Minty agrees to let Billy look at the door. They agreed not to tell Peaches (shame!).
Back to the game: Henry was up to bat. When the ball came, Henry [suprisingly] hit it (the force burned his baby-soft hands though. *snicker*). He made it all the way to first base! Yay! Go Henry! Racical accomlishment! (sarcasm hand raised).
When he got home, Henry made a beeline for the bathroom (shouldn't have drank so much pop). While he was in there, he thought about his accomplishments of the day. He had batted one single, and a double, and struck out a lot. He had also made friends with Zeke. As Henry made his way to his room, he heard wind blowing.
*Sigh*. This book has let me down way too many times. I'm not even going to bother getting my excitment socks on.
Obviously, the wind was coming from the cabinet that the kids had opened. But, for some reason, the floor and Henry's bed (which was under the cabinet in question) were soaking wet (I wonder if the cabinet leads to Forks, Washington. Or maybe a rainforest. But it can't be a rainforest because the wind was cold). Inside the cupboard there were trees. And he could smell dirt and moss (this cabinet really needs a good cleaning). And there were worms on the floor (ew...) Well, at least now we know that things can come out of the cabinets--but how are Henry and Beatrice going to get into that small of a cabinet ('cus you know they will).
Meanwhile, Billy and Thinmint were trying to get the door open. It didn't work. Billy even picked the lock, and then tried to open it. Even though the door was obviously not locked, it still wouldn't open. So Billy went home, and Thinmint picked up Peaches and the girls from the party (I thought they came home with Henry already?). When they arrived at home, Beatrice went to find Henry, and the other two girsl watched TV since Beatrice told them they couldn't com (rude child). But Anastasia ended up coming anyway (you go girl! Don't let your older sister boss you around!). At the door of Henry's room, she--like a good little sister--stopped to listen to the conversation inside. Then she opened the door and freaked out when she saw the worms. Then she threatened to tell Peaches that there was a giant puddle on the floor if Henry and Beatrice didn't explain to her what the heck was going on (snitch). Henry told her that it was from a raincloud. Henry, just because she's three years younger than you doesn't mean that she's a complete idiot. Obviously, Ana didn't believe him. She begged to be let in on the secret, but Beatrice wouldn't tell her because Ana has trouble keeping secrets (good reason). Henry seemed okay with Ana knowing, though. At any rate, on one explained to her.
That night, after everyone was asleep--okay, can someone please explain why books always include that little detail? I mean, obviously the protaganist isn't going to do whatever it is they are not supposed to be doing when everyone's awake--unless the people are in on the secret. Anyway, Henry messed with the plaster on the walls again. He couldn't sleep because he had had too much caffine from the soda (I love that feeling!). Beatrice helped him. They uncovered a lot more cabinets--there are now 99 visible. They both went to bed.
Later that night, Henry woke up suddenly. There was light coming from the mailbox cabinet. And there was a post card in it. As well as a pant leg in the window part. Of course the chapter ends here.
Closing Thoughts:
I would put my excitement socks on, but they're dirty after so many false alarms.
Predictions:
Ana finds out Henry and Beatrice's secret on her own. The last cabinet happens to be in Grandpa's room.
So, anyway, Henry was working on his fourth pop can (root beer this time) and watching the other kids play baseball. The book says that Henry was scared of the boys. Why? Because they might ask him to play with them ad he doesn't know how to play baseball (it is for times like this that I keep extra slack cut and ready to serve). But no one asked him, so he kept watching. Until Zeke Johnson tossed him a glove and invited him to play. I'm not sure if you remember, but Penny (remember her? I didn't either at first. She's Beatrice's older sister) has a crush on this Zeke dude.
While Henry was "playing" baseball, Thinmint was talking to some guy named Billy. Basically, Peaches told Billy that Thinmint couldn't open Grandpa's door, and Billy thinks he knows how to get it open (yeah, right; something tells me that door will only open unless it wants to). But for some reason, Thinmint doesn't like Billy (ooh, family secretses maybe? Of course not...). Eventually though, Minty agrees to let Billy look at the door. They agreed not to tell Peaches (shame!).
Back to the game: Henry was up to bat. When the ball came, Henry [suprisingly] hit it (the force burned his baby-soft hands though. *snicker*). He made it all the way to first base! Yay! Go Henry! Racical accomlishment! (sarcasm hand raised).
When he got home, Henry made a beeline for the bathroom (shouldn't have drank so much pop). While he was in there, he thought about his accomplishments of the day. He had batted one single, and a double, and struck out a lot. He had also made friends with Zeke. As Henry made his way to his room, he heard wind blowing.
*Sigh*. This book has let me down way too many times. I'm not even going to bother getting my excitment socks on.
Obviously, the wind was coming from the cabinet that the kids had opened. But, for some reason, the floor and Henry's bed (which was under the cabinet in question) were soaking wet (I wonder if the cabinet leads to Forks, Washington. Or maybe a rainforest. But it can't be a rainforest because the wind was cold). Inside the cupboard there were trees. And he could smell dirt and moss (this cabinet really needs a good cleaning). And there were worms on the floor (ew...) Well, at least now we know that things can come out of the cabinets--but how are Henry and Beatrice going to get into that small of a cabinet ('cus you know they will).
Meanwhile, Billy and Thinmint were trying to get the door open. It didn't work. Billy even picked the lock, and then tried to open it. Even though the door was obviously not locked, it still wouldn't open. So Billy went home, and Thinmint picked up Peaches and the girls from the party (I thought they came home with Henry already?). When they arrived at home, Beatrice went to find Henry, and the other two girsl watched TV since Beatrice told them they couldn't com (rude child). But Anastasia ended up coming anyway (you go girl! Don't let your older sister boss you around!). At the door of Henry's room, she--like a good little sister--stopped to listen to the conversation inside. Then she opened the door and freaked out when she saw the worms. Then she threatened to tell Peaches that there was a giant puddle on the floor if Henry and Beatrice didn't explain to her what the heck was going on (snitch). Henry told her that it was from a raincloud. Henry, just because she's three years younger than you doesn't mean that she's a complete idiot. Obviously, Ana didn't believe him. She begged to be let in on the secret, but Beatrice wouldn't tell her because Ana has trouble keeping secrets (good reason). Henry seemed okay with Ana knowing, though. At any rate, on one explained to her.
That night, after everyone was asleep--okay, can someone please explain why books always include that little detail? I mean, obviously the protaganist isn't going to do whatever it is they are not supposed to be doing when everyone's awake--unless the people are in on the secret. Anyway, Henry messed with the plaster on the walls again. He couldn't sleep because he had had too much caffine from the soda (I love that feeling!). Beatrice helped him. They uncovered a lot more cabinets--there are now 99 visible. They both went to bed.
Later that night, Henry woke up suddenly. There was light coming from the mailbox cabinet. And there was a post card in it. As well as a pant leg in the window part. Of course the chapter ends here.
Closing Thoughts:
I would put my excitement socks on, but they're dirty after so many false alarms.
Predictions:
Ana finds out Henry and Beatrice's secret on her own. The last cabinet happens to be in Grandpa's room.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Blogging 100 Cupboards by Nathan Wilson--Part 5
When last we left off (5 stars for odd sentence structure), Thinmint was trying to open the door of Grandpa's room.
After messing around with the knob and some screws, Thinmint tried to bash the door in. Of course, the door isn't giving up that easily. Thinmint ended up flat on his back, feet in the air, and totally winded. Too bad I couldn't see that...anyway, Thinmint tried tons of ways to get the door open, including an axe (which only scratched the door, not to mention that it dulled the blade) and a chainsaw (which Thinmint almost killed himself with). Though Wilson took forever to get to it and I had long since figured it out, he finally told us that the door was made of that special wood (don't remember? Read paragraph 2 of Part 4). After watching Minty's antics for a while, Henry got bored and went to his room to work on his [not-so] secret cabinets.
Since Minty had re-sharpened the blade, it was about 1/3 smaller (judging by results, Thinmint isn't particularly handy around the house). But it was sharp, and that's all that matters. Since Henry's a wimp, he was afraid to cut his finger. According to the book, the knife was all like "You wouldn't be the first. Why do you think they got rid of me?" Um, okay then. After contemplating the knife, Henry finally got to work. He started scraping the black paint off of the small cabinet's strip of glass. It took him awhile, so I was thinking that something remotely interesting would happen (not a common theme in this book). But of course nothing happens--Henry can't even see through the glass. Just then, Beatrice/Henrietta came up the stairs. For some reason, even though he knows its his cousin, Henry jumps up and closes the door and basically acts like hes trying not to act suspicous. Anyway, since Henrietta is the only one who has any sense, she remembered to bring actual tools to help with the excavation of the cabinets. Also, she brought more posters (from Kansas City U, of course). Since its easier for me to blog in dialogue form when the context concerns Henry and Beatrice, I'm switching right now. The words in parentheses are my thoughts as I'm reading the sentences.
Henry: I got the paint of, but I still can't see anything. (zzzzz...)
Beatrice: I think it's a mailbox (what? and why would there be a mailbox in Henry's room? In the attic?)
Henry: What do you mean a mailbox? (a box of mail)
Beatrice: The kind in post offices (does anyone still use those? oh, right these kids are supposedly in the past). I used to go to the post office with Mom sometimes, and there are little boxes like this there (and its fun to try and open them)
Henry: You mean post office boxes? (isn't that what she said?) Why would there be a post office box in my bedroom? (isn't that what I said?)
Beatrice: Why would any of these be in your bedroom? (*applause* good point, Henrietta)
Henry: I don't know. I guess someone could have just been a sort of collector (of cabinet doors?). You know, of things with doors (this person belongs in the nuthouse). They must have just liked cupboards (were they an interior designer? Cus that's the only person I can think of who would collect cabinets)
Beatrice: No, it has to be more exciting than that (I would hope so, considering that the book is about them). Somebody hid them all, so they're supposed to be secret (so much for that). We have to get them open and find out why (they could be housing a rare, unkillable breed of black widow cockroaches that when unleashed would kill the entire population of the earth. Maybe you shouldn't open them)
Henry: Do you think we'll ever be able to see through this little one? (Yeah, cus it's the first one you noticed. That's how books work)
*Henry and Beatrice wipe the glass with their spit* Ew.
Henry: It's clear enough, but I still can't see anything (then what the heck do you think is "clear enough"? obviously not "clear enough to see", which is the point of glass being clear). We need a flashlight.
Beatrice then goes off to get a flashlight, and on the way back in, she turns off the room light so that the room goes pitch black. Meanwhile Henry gets all excited, but then started wondering if the contents of secret cabinets would be good. Finally! Either Henry is getting smarter, or he's a really big wuss and is just afraid of getting his hands dirty. After bending into all kinds of crazy positions in order to see into the glass, Beatrice noticed an envelope in the box. She tried to get it, but then there was a big flash of light (typical of fantasy books) and they fell off the bed. When they got up and looked at the cabinet again, it was open and swinging around (told ya they'd get it open). There was wind coming through the door, and the kids could see trees blowing through the other side.
Important note: Henry found a key in the cabinet. I'm sure that'll be important later.
The two Henrys then argue about whether or not the cabinets are magic (I think they are). Henry thinks its quantum physics because hes a rich wimpy pale kid who hasn't ever been outside and spends his days reading dictionaries. Beatrice thinks its magic because shes read too many fairy tale books and because she doesn't understand quantum physics. Henry, in an attempt to avoid further exploring the door (total wimp) said that he thinks something dangerous might be in there. Now, I know there's a big possiblity of something dangerous, but I'm curious. And, its a book about children. Prediction: they'll find something bad (either in this book or a later one) and then save the world. At any rate, they didn't explore the cabinet more because Peaches was calling them downstairs.
Thinmint still didn't get the door open, but he did manage to accidentally chop a hole in the floor with his chainsaw. So, the chapter ends with the the whole family going to a barbecue.
Closing thoughts:
This book is stupid predictable.
Predictions:
Henry and Beatrice have a conversation that involves Beatrice being curious and adventurous (though slightly reckless) and Henry being wimpy and scared and practical.
After messing around with the knob and some screws, Thinmint tried to bash the door in. Of course, the door isn't giving up that easily. Thinmint ended up flat on his back, feet in the air, and totally winded. Too bad I couldn't see that...anyway, Thinmint tried tons of ways to get the door open, including an axe (which only scratched the door, not to mention that it dulled the blade) and a chainsaw (which Thinmint almost killed himself with). Though Wilson took forever to get to it and I had long since figured it out, he finally told us that the door was made of that special wood (don't remember? Read paragraph 2 of Part 4). After watching Minty's antics for a while, Henry got bored and went to his room to work on his [not-so] secret cabinets.
Since Minty had re-sharpened the blade, it was about 1/3 smaller (judging by results, Thinmint isn't particularly handy around the house). But it was sharp, and that's all that matters. Since Henry's a wimp, he was afraid to cut his finger. According to the book, the knife was all like "You wouldn't be the first. Why do you think they got rid of me?" Um, okay then. After contemplating the knife, Henry finally got to work. He started scraping the black paint off of the small cabinet's strip of glass. It took him awhile, so I was thinking that something remotely interesting would happen (not a common theme in this book). But of course nothing happens--Henry can't even see through the glass. Just then, Beatrice/Henrietta came up the stairs. For some reason, even though he knows its his cousin, Henry jumps up and closes the door and basically acts like hes trying not to act suspicous. Anyway, since Henrietta is the only one who has any sense, she remembered to bring actual tools to help with the excavation of the cabinets. Also, she brought more posters (from Kansas City U, of course). Since its easier for me to blog in dialogue form when the context concerns Henry and Beatrice, I'm switching right now. The words in parentheses are my thoughts as I'm reading the sentences.
Henry: I got the paint of, but I still can't see anything. (zzzzz...)
Beatrice: I think it's a mailbox (what? and why would there be a mailbox in Henry's room? In the attic?)
Henry: What do you mean a mailbox? (a box of mail)
Beatrice: The kind in post offices (does anyone still use those? oh, right these kids are supposedly in the past). I used to go to the post office with Mom sometimes, and there are little boxes like this there (and its fun to try and open them)
Henry: You mean post office boxes? (isn't that what she said?) Why would there be a post office box in my bedroom? (isn't that what I said?)
Beatrice: Why would any of these be in your bedroom? (*applause* good point, Henrietta)
Henry: I don't know. I guess someone could have just been a sort of collector (of cabinet doors?). You know, of things with doors (this person belongs in the nuthouse). They must have just liked cupboards (were they an interior designer? Cus that's the only person I can think of who would collect cabinets)
Beatrice: No, it has to be more exciting than that (I would hope so, considering that the book is about them). Somebody hid them all, so they're supposed to be secret (so much for that). We have to get them open and find out why (they could be housing a rare, unkillable breed of black widow cockroaches that when unleashed would kill the entire population of the earth. Maybe you shouldn't open them)
Henry: Do you think we'll ever be able to see through this little one? (Yeah, cus it's the first one you noticed. That's how books work)
*Henry and Beatrice wipe the glass with their spit* Ew.
Henry: It's clear enough, but I still can't see anything (then what the heck do you think is "clear enough"? obviously not "clear enough to see", which is the point of glass being clear). We need a flashlight.
Beatrice then goes off to get a flashlight, and on the way back in, she turns off the room light so that the room goes pitch black. Meanwhile Henry gets all excited, but then started wondering if the contents of secret cabinets would be good. Finally! Either Henry is getting smarter, or he's a really big wuss and is just afraid of getting his hands dirty. After bending into all kinds of crazy positions in order to see into the glass, Beatrice noticed an envelope in the box. She tried to get it, but then there was a big flash of light (typical of fantasy books) and they fell off the bed. When they got up and looked at the cabinet again, it was open and swinging around (told ya they'd get it open). There was wind coming through the door, and the kids could see trees blowing through the other side.
Important note: Henry found a key in the cabinet. I'm sure that'll be important later.
The two Henrys then argue about whether or not the cabinets are magic (I think they are). Henry thinks its quantum physics because hes a rich wimpy pale kid who hasn't ever been outside and spends his days reading dictionaries. Beatrice thinks its magic because shes read too many fairy tale books and because she doesn't understand quantum physics. Henry, in an attempt to avoid further exploring the door (total wimp) said that he thinks something dangerous might be in there. Now, I know there's a big possiblity of something dangerous, but I'm curious. And, its a book about children. Prediction: they'll find something bad (either in this book or a later one) and then save the world. At any rate, they didn't explore the cabinet more because Peaches was calling them downstairs.
Thinmint still didn't get the door open, but he did manage to accidentally chop a hole in the floor with his chainsaw. So, the chapter ends with the the whole family going to a barbecue.
Closing thoughts:
This book is stupid predictable.
Predictions:
Henry and Beatrice have a conversation that involves Beatrice being curious and adventurous (though slightly reckless) and Henry being wimpy and scared and practical.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
I can't think of a title
Since people (ostensibly) read this blog, I will continue blogging the first book in the 100 Cupboards Series by Nathan Wilson. But it will end soon, so I need more books to blog. Leave suggestions in the comments section, and if I haven't read them, I'll blog about them. Otherwise, the next one is Mister Monday by Garth Nix. Only if you beg me will I blog the next book in Nathan Wilson's series. Also, when I'm blogging these books, feel free to read along with me and leave your thoughts in the comments.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Blogging 100 Cupboards by Nathan Wilson--Part 4
When we last left Henry, he was busy using his new pocket-knife to scrape off the plaster around the door with the two knobs. Well, he fell asleep mid-scraping. When he woke up, he was understandably covered in plaster and plaster dust and big chunks of plaster. At first he thought that he had slept late again, so he got up and ran downstairs to shower. He fell down the stairs (tsk, tsk) and woke up Beatrice and Peaches. Peaches was all like "Aww go back to bed already!" (slightly paraphrased) and Beatrice was just like "Huh? I'm going back to bed..." Henry showered, and then ran back upstairs. His room was (predictably) a wreck, and it was very dusty. Seeing how wimpy Henry is, I'm suprised he wasn't like "Aww man, I'm allergic to dust!" Instead he was all like "I gotta hide this!" I was pleased.
While Henry was cleaning up, Mr. Wilson finally explained what was under all that plaster; a bunch of cabinets (but since this book is supposed to have taken place a long time ago, it calls them "cupboards"). There were a few paragraphs describing a particular cabinet, so I guess this one is important. It was wooden, and the book claimed that only two people alive knew what kind of wood it was. Some dude living in Orlando, and some lady living in France. The lady living in France's husband fought in WWI. When he came home, he brought a tree with him. About this next part: I was completely and totally suprised (sacrasm hand raised). But seriously, pay attention! (cus this'll probably be important in later chapters or books) The tree that he brought back with him was the kind of tree that the Special Cabinet was made of. Also important (probably--I've never read this before): the lady's husband made her a jewelry box out of a branch of the tree before he died.
Anyway, there were 35(ish) cabinets (I thought there were 100!), and Henry couldn't get any of them open. They were all very different from each other, and there's a handy picture on the cover of the book.
After vainly trying to get rid of all the fine dust, Henry just scooped up the plaster and some of the plaster dust into his blanket, and lugged it to the barn. He was so tired afterward (weakling) that he fell asleep in the grass next to the barn.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Peaches was upset that Henry was missing, so she told Mr. Thin to find him. It didn't take long to find Henry, passed out next to the barn (word structure totally intended--Ebrownies if you caught it). If I found someone passed out next to a barn early in the morning, I would be very suspicious...but since this is a book and Henry is only 12, Mr. Thin doesn't suspect anything. Instead of waking Henry up (which he should have done--sleeping outside on the bare ground isn't healthy), Mr. Thin just sat there and waited until Henry woke up on his own (lazy, much?). Eventually, he got tired of waiting, and shook Henry awake. Henry almost freaked out, but then realized that it was only his uncle.
Note: as Mr. Thin hasn't done anything evil, I am starting to like him (a tiny bit), so I will henceforward be calling him Thinmint, since I like Girl Scout Thinmints (a tiny bit).
Remember Thinmint selling tumbleweeds to Japanese businessmen for $1,500? Well, they backed out of the offer and bought some other guy's tumbleweed, just cus he marketed it as "Genuine Texas Tumbleweed." And we all know that Texas tumbleweeds are much more valuable and desirable than Kansas tumbleweeds (sacrasm hand raised, eyes rolling).
After dumping on Henry, Thinmint and his nephew went back to the house. On the way back, Henry was all like "Um, do you have any more posters?" because he was a bad kid and had been scraping the walls away. Man, my parents would totally kill me (maybe literally). Thinmint was like "I don't think so, but I'll look around". Thinmint is seriously mentally handicapped if he has more than one poster of a bad baseball team (and I meant "bad" in the way that it's supposed to be used, not "bad" as in "good"). When they were almost to the house, Thinmint asked Henry about the pocketknife. Henry (being the wimpy, sheltered rich kid that he is) freaked out because he's bad at lying. Henry hesitates for a minute (never hesitate while lying!) and then says "I'll get it for you". I don't recall Thinmint asking for the knife, but whatever.
Thinmint saw the knife and said that Henry needs a new one--this one's all broken up and stuff, and it's useless (that's because pocketknives aren't for taking the plaster off walls to find magic cabinets!). Henry left Thinmint alone to resharpen the knife, and went up to his room, where Beatrice scared the living daylights out of him. She had already taken the poster down, and was inspecting the cabinets (rock on, Henrietta/Beatrice! Finally, somebody who knows how to get down to business...). This next part will be easier to blog in dialogue form, slightly paraphrased of course. My silent commentary will be in red.
Beatrice: What do you think the cabinets are for? Good question
Henry: Probably to put things in. very practical answer, Henry. I mean, interesting things *face palm* shoulda stopped while you were ahead
Beatrice: How many do you think there are? 100. Read the cover of your own book
Henry: I bet they cover the whole wall must be a big wall, or small cabinets
Beatrice: You tried to open every one? I would hope so
Henry: I did (good job). I wrecked my knife getting the plaster off last night You're not supposed to use a knife for that. I keep trying to tell you. Find a chisel or something., and I can't use it tonight because your dad is sharpening it again. He'll get suspicious if it's dull again tomorrow.
Beatrice: There are some old tools in the basement, and some more in the barn. I bet there's a chisel Beatrice just moved up my list of favorite characters.
Henry: Good idea (um, logical and obvious idea).
Beatrice: I like the white cabinet the best I like white, too It looks the happiest say wha?. Some of the other ones don't seem to want to be here, but the white one looks like it likes it here (O.o o.O)
Henry: What do you mean? Good question. I think Beatrice is losing her marbles.... I mean, it looks nice, but how the heck is it happier than the others? I don't think your supposed to call them happy standing ovation
Beatrice: Well, what about sad? um, cabinets usually don't have feelings. Unless they're magic cabinets. The cabinets in Beauty and the Beast had feelings. The little metal one looks sad what metal one? The one with the wierd glowing strip on the cover?
Henry: I don't think it looks sad. It's probably happy to be out from under the plaster now Henry thinks cabinets have feelings
I'm switching back to paragraph form now.
The cabinet that Henry and Beatrice were discussing had a glass strip on it that was painted black. It took a while for the kids to figure out that it was glass, because they thought it was plastic until they scratched the black paint off. And of course we don't get to see what's in the cabinet because Mr. Wilson is mean. Peaches called the kids downstairs to eat lunch (grilled cheese sandwiches that probably weren't even put on a grill). During the table convo, Peaches asks Thinmint to open the locked door to Grandpa's Room (remember the creepy old dude with the silky robe?). So, after lunch, Thinmint got his chainsaw and went at the door with it. Then the chapter ends, and of course we don't get to see if he gets the door open.
Closing Thoughts:
Here's my list of favorite characters in order: Beatrice, Henry, the other Willis girls, Peaches, Thinmint, that cat on the cover, Zeke Johnson, then Grandpa, then those Japanese businessmen.
Predictions:
Grandpa's bedroom door won't open.
Stuff that I accidentally left out, and then realized might be important later on:
I getting better at not leaving stuff out! Brownie points for me!
While Henry was cleaning up, Mr. Wilson finally explained what was under all that plaster; a bunch of cabinets (but since this book is supposed to have taken place a long time ago, it calls them "cupboards"). There were a few paragraphs describing a particular cabinet, so I guess this one is important. It was wooden, and the book claimed that only two people alive knew what kind of wood it was. Some dude living in Orlando, and some lady living in France. The lady living in France's husband fought in WWI. When he came home, he brought a tree with him. About this next part: I was completely and totally suprised (sacrasm hand raised). But seriously, pay attention! (cus this'll probably be important in later chapters or books) The tree that he brought back with him was the kind of tree that the Special Cabinet was made of. Also important (probably--I've never read this before): the lady's husband made her a jewelry box out of a branch of the tree before he died.
Anyway, there were 35(ish) cabinets (I thought there were 100!), and Henry couldn't get any of them open. They were all very different from each other, and there's a handy picture on the cover of the book.
After vainly trying to get rid of all the fine dust, Henry just scooped up the plaster and some of the plaster dust into his blanket, and lugged it to the barn. He was so tired afterward (weakling) that he fell asleep in the grass next to the barn.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Peaches was upset that Henry was missing, so she told Mr. Thin to find him. It didn't take long to find Henry, passed out next to the barn (word structure totally intended--Ebrownies if you caught it). If I found someone passed out next to a barn early in the morning, I would be very suspicious...but since this is a book and Henry is only 12, Mr. Thin doesn't suspect anything. Instead of waking Henry up (which he should have done--sleeping outside on the bare ground isn't healthy), Mr. Thin just sat there and waited until Henry woke up on his own (lazy, much?). Eventually, he got tired of waiting, and shook Henry awake. Henry almost freaked out, but then realized that it was only his uncle.
Note: as Mr. Thin hasn't done anything evil, I am starting to like him (a tiny bit), so I will henceforward be calling him Thinmint, since I like Girl Scout Thinmints (a tiny bit).
Remember Thinmint selling tumbleweeds to Japanese businessmen for $1,500? Well, they backed out of the offer and bought some other guy's tumbleweed, just cus he marketed it as "Genuine Texas Tumbleweed." And we all know that Texas tumbleweeds are much more valuable and desirable than Kansas tumbleweeds (sacrasm hand raised, eyes rolling).
After dumping on Henry, Thinmint and his nephew went back to the house. On the way back, Henry was all like "Um, do you have any more posters?" because he was a bad kid and had been scraping the walls away. Man, my parents would totally kill me (maybe literally). Thinmint was like "I don't think so, but I'll look around". Thinmint is seriously mentally handicapped if he has more than one poster of a bad baseball team (and I meant "bad" in the way that it's supposed to be used, not "bad" as in "good"). When they were almost to the house, Thinmint asked Henry about the pocketknife. Henry (being the wimpy, sheltered rich kid that he is) freaked out because he's bad at lying. Henry hesitates for a minute (never hesitate while lying!) and then says "I'll get it for you". I don't recall Thinmint asking for the knife, but whatever.
Thinmint saw the knife and said that Henry needs a new one--this one's all broken up and stuff, and it's useless (that's because pocketknives aren't for taking the plaster off walls to find magic cabinets!). Henry left Thinmint alone to resharpen the knife, and went up to his room, where Beatrice scared the living daylights out of him. She had already taken the poster down, and was inspecting the cabinets (rock on, Henrietta/Beatrice! Finally, somebody who knows how to get down to business...). This next part will be easier to blog in dialogue form, slightly paraphrased of course. My silent commentary will be in red.
Beatrice: What do you think the cabinets are for? Good question
Henry: Probably to put things in. very practical answer, Henry. I mean, interesting things *face palm* shoulda stopped while you were ahead
Beatrice: How many do you think there are? 100. Read the cover of your own book
Henry: I bet they cover the whole wall must be a big wall, or small cabinets
Beatrice: You tried to open every one? I would hope so
Henry: I did (good job). I wrecked my knife getting the plaster off last night You're not supposed to use a knife for that. I keep trying to tell you. Find a chisel or something., and I can't use it tonight because your dad is sharpening it again. He'll get suspicious if it's dull again tomorrow.
Beatrice: There are some old tools in the basement, and some more in the barn. I bet there's a chisel Beatrice just moved up my list of favorite characters.
Henry: Good idea (um, logical and obvious idea).
Beatrice: I like the white cabinet the best I like white, too It looks the happiest say wha?. Some of the other ones don't seem to want to be here, but the white one looks like it likes it here (O.o o.O)
Henry: What do you mean? Good question. I think Beatrice is losing her marbles.... I mean, it looks nice, but how the heck is it happier than the others? I don't think your supposed to call them happy standing ovation
Beatrice: Well, what about sad? um, cabinets usually don't have feelings. Unless they're magic cabinets. The cabinets in Beauty and the Beast had feelings. The little metal one looks sad what metal one? The one with the wierd glowing strip on the cover?
Henry: I don't think it looks sad. It's probably happy to be out from under the plaster now Henry thinks cabinets have feelings
I'm switching back to paragraph form now.
The cabinet that Henry and Beatrice were discussing had a glass strip on it that was painted black. It took a while for the kids to figure out that it was glass, because they thought it was plastic until they scratched the black paint off. And of course we don't get to see what's in the cabinet because Mr. Wilson is mean. Peaches called the kids downstairs to eat lunch (grilled cheese sandwiches that probably weren't even put on a grill). During the table convo, Peaches asks Thinmint to open the locked door to Grandpa's Room (remember the creepy old dude with the silky robe?). So, after lunch, Thinmint got his chainsaw and went at the door with it. Then the chapter ends, and of course we don't get to see if he gets the door open.
Closing Thoughts:
Here's my list of favorite characters in order: Beatrice, Henry, the other Willis girls, Peaches, Thinmint, that cat on the cover, Zeke Johnson, then Grandpa, then those Japanese businessmen.
Predictions:
Grandpa's bedroom door won't open.
Stuff that I accidentally left out, and then realized might be important later on:
I getting better at not leaving stuff out! Brownie points for me!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Blogging 100 Cupboards by Nathan Wilson--Part 3
After a rough night, Henry woke up and went downstairs (this is sounding relatively normal, so far). There, he saw Mrs. Peach. She was grinding wormy apples up, and there was a big, black pot on the fireplace. Maybe Mrs. Peach is a witch...or she could just be making applesauce (I think she's a witch--she's married to the villianous Mr. Thin, after all). Henry ate a bowl of cereal, and drank milk that was so fresh it left a film on his tongue. Ew! I hate tongue films! Apparently though, "[Henry's] tongue didn't mind." When he finished this mundane breakfast, Mrs. Peach sent him to the barn, where Mr. Thin was lying in wait to catch his prey...alright, so she didn't say it that way. She just told Henry that his uncle wanted to talk to him.
I don't know about Henry (cus he's wierd and kind of a wimp), but anytime someone says they want to talk to me, I get scared. People don't say "I want to talk to you" if they're just looking for a friendly chat--if they are, they just start talking (normal people, anyway), or send an email. Think about it--you wouldn't send an email to someone saying "Your uncle wants to email you." Okay, back on track:
Henry went unsuspectingly to the barn (which he couldn't open at first), and into Mr. Thin's man cave. Upon entering the dirty, wide open barn, Henry hears his name called. Mr. Thin was summoning him to the loft (sorry, its just that "summoning" is fun to type). It was at this point that we find out a shocking truth: Henry has never used a ladder.
He is so spoiled and sheltered.
Overcoming his fear of heights, Henry figures out how to climb up a ladder, and gets into the loft. As soon as Henry gets up, Mr. Thin (whose real name is Frank) says "I need to spill the beans to somebody" OMG! Something's about to happen! Henry gives the very logical "What is it?" Then just as I was getting excited, all Mr. Thin does is pull open a drawer with a bunch of junk in it. Mr. Thin's big secret is that he sells stuff on ebay without telling his wife. And for some reason, he was able to sell 2 tumbleweeds to a Japanese businessman for $1,500 (swindler).
O.o. o.O. I want money to blow like that.
After this amazing revelation, Mr. Thin suggests that he and Henry go to town for ice cream. I love ice cream!
Oh, wait. I wonder if Mr. Thin is going to hurt Henry, and this book is really about a young boy's journey through his uncle's tortures from a sad, overprotected wimp, to a brave, real MAN! Or it could be just what the cover says: the result of when some guy stole C.S. Lewis' idea about going to other worlds from household doors. Man, I get distracted so easily!
As it turns out, nothing interesting happened while they were in town. They got ice cream, Henry wasn't tortured, and Mr. Thin didn't do anything evil. *sigh* In fact, he did something nice; he bought Henry a baseball glove and a dull pocketknife that he promised to sharpen. And then they went tumble-weed picking. When they got back, Henry recieved orders from Mr. Thin to not to tell Peaches what they had been doing.
At this point, I was bored. But guess what? Something remotely interesting finally happens! So, after dinner (meatloaf), Henry and his three cousins were sitting around arguing about what to do. "Beatrice" wanted to play Monopoly, while Anastasia wanted to play pirates. Penelope was reading (like a sensible older sister would). Henry was watching the two girls argue. Then, H-Dawg (I'm starting to like him again) says "Why do all three of you share a room? This is a big house." Penny explains that her dad uses one of the bedrooms for his tv (selfish), and her mom uses another for her sewing (necessary). And the other bedroom is Grandpa's room. "He's dead." Beatrice said.
Hold on, a minute! So, that means that the creepy dude with the purple robe wasn't Grandpa? Aww come on! Well then who the blazes is it?! I still think it's probably Grandpa, or his ghost. Ooh, that would be cool--a ghost!
H-dawg started thinking about the creepy dude from last night (that's right, use that brain!)--whom he supposedly forgot when he went to sleep--and wonders what his deal is. Henry then did what any half-sensible 12-year old would do: he went to Grandpa's room and tried to open the door. But it was locked (of course). Mr. Thin lost the key two years ago when Grandpa (supposedly) died. The girls left to go play "Hopscotch Cannibals" (wtheck?), and Henry (who doesn't like make-believe) went to his room in the attic to read.
Okay, the interesting part is coming, just hold on!
Henry sat down, and then chanced to look up (it always happens this way). There were two knobs in the wall. One of them was turning slowly, and making plaster rain down on Henry (how rude!). After a while, the knob stops turning. Then Henry freaks out again. The wall where the knobs are is an outside wall in the attic, which means that the girls can't be messing with him. He started picking with the plaster around the knobs, and saw that the knobs were surrounded by numbers. Ooh, they're combination locks! Unfortunately Henry gets all logical and figures out that there are 418 possible combinations to open the door. Beatrice scared him when she came up behind him and asked "Whatcha doin'?" Henry's all like "Uh, nothing. Nothing at all." Beatrice, being the smart girl that she is, is all like "Sure. Whatever. What are you doing?" Henry explains, and then says that he's tried 76 combinations already, and none of them work so far.
Beatrice: What do you think's inside?
Henry: I don't know. Probably somebody's old socks
My thought: So why are you working so hard to get to them?
Henry: Some fountain pens would be cool
My thought: *slaps forehead* You are so unimaginative. This book would really suck if all there was was socks and pens in the door.
Beatrice: I think it's a treasure map
My thought: At least her imagination is better off than Henry's
Beatrice: Hey, what are those other marks on the knobs?
It is at this point that we find out that there are three more marks on the knobs. So there are two dials, and two sub-dials. Henry isn't good enough at math to figure it out, but that means that there are 6,688 possible combinations. Henry and Beatrice decide to give up for the night, and they both go to bed. But Henry can't sleep again, so he spends the night messing with the knobs again. And of course the chapter ends, so both of you and me will have to wait till next week, or whenever I feel like writing another post.
Closing thoughts:
Maybe, just maybe, something interesting might happen. And if it does, I'll finish blogging the book.
Predictions:
Henry and Beatrice unlock the cabinets, and then Henry chickens out and won't go into any of them.
Stuff that I accidentally left out, and then realized might be important later on:
I got everything this time! Whoo-hoo!
I don't know about Henry (cus he's wierd and kind of a wimp), but anytime someone says they want to talk to me, I get scared. People don't say "I want to talk to you" if they're just looking for a friendly chat--if they are, they just start talking (normal people, anyway), or send an email. Think about it--you wouldn't send an email to someone saying "Your uncle wants to email you." Okay, back on track:
Henry went unsuspectingly to the barn (which he couldn't open at first), and into Mr. Thin's man cave. Upon entering the dirty, wide open barn, Henry hears his name called. Mr. Thin was summoning him to the loft (sorry, its just that "summoning" is fun to type). It was at this point that we find out a shocking truth: Henry has never used a ladder.
He is so spoiled and sheltered.
Overcoming his fear of heights, Henry figures out how to climb up a ladder, and gets into the loft. As soon as Henry gets up, Mr. Thin (whose real name is Frank) says "I need to spill the beans to somebody" OMG! Something's about to happen! Henry gives the very logical "What is it?" Then just as I was getting excited, all Mr. Thin does is pull open a drawer with a bunch of junk in it. Mr. Thin's big secret is that he sells stuff on ebay without telling his wife. And for some reason, he was able to sell 2 tumbleweeds to a Japanese businessman for $1,500 (swindler).
O.o. o.O. I want money to blow like that.
After this amazing revelation, Mr. Thin suggests that he and Henry go to town for ice cream. I love ice cream!
Oh, wait. I wonder if Mr. Thin is going to hurt Henry, and this book is really about a young boy's journey through his uncle's tortures from a sad, overprotected wimp, to a brave, real MAN! Or it could be just what the cover says: the result of when some guy stole C.S. Lewis' idea about going to other worlds from household doors. Man, I get distracted so easily!
As it turns out, nothing interesting happened while they were in town. They got ice cream, Henry wasn't tortured, and Mr. Thin didn't do anything evil. *sigh* In fact, he did something nice; he bought Henry a baseball glove and a dull pocketknife that he promised to sharpen. And then they went tumble-weed picking. When they got back, Henry recieved orders from Mr. Thin to not to tell Peaches what they had been doing.
At this point, I was bored. But guess what? Something remotely interesting finally happens! So, after dinner (meatloaf), Henry and his three cousins were sitting around arguing about what to do. "Beatrice" wanted to play Monopoly, while Anastasia wanted to play pirates. Penelope was reading (like a sensible older sister would). Henry was watching the two girls argue. Then, H-Dawg (I'm starting to like him again) says "Why do all three of you share a room? This is a big house." Penny explains that her dad uses one of the bedrooms for his tv (selfish), and her mom uses another for her sewing (necessary). And the other bedroom is Grandpa's room. "He's dead." Beatrice said.
Hold on, a minute! So, that means that the creepy dude with the purple robe wasn't Grandpa? Aww come on! Well then who the blazes is it?! I still think it's probably Grandpa, or his ghost. Ooh, that would be cool--a ghost!
H-dawg started thinking about the creepy dude from last night (that's right, use that brain!)--whom he supposedly forgot when he went to sleep--and wonders what his deal is. Henry then did what any half-sensible 12-year old would do: he went to Grandpa's room and tried to open the door. But it was locked (of course). Mr. Thin lost the key two years ago when Grandpa (supposedly) died. The girls left to go play "Hopscotch Cannibals" (wtheck?), and Henry (who doesn't like make-believe) went to his room in the attic to read.
Okay, the interesting part is coming, just hold on!
Henry sat down, and then chanced to look up (it always happens this way). There were two knobs in the wall. One of them was turning slowly, and making plaster rain down on Henry (how rude!). After a while, the knob stops turning. Then Henry freaks out again. The wall where the knobs are is an outside wall in the attic, which means that the girls can't be messing with him. He started picking with the plaster around the knobs, and saw that the knobs were surrounded by numbers. Ooh, they're combination locks! Unfortunately Henry gets all logical and figures out that there are 418 possible combinations to open the door. Beatrice scared him when she came up behind him and asked "Whatcha doin'?" Henry's all like "Uh, nothing. Nothing at all." Beatrice, being the smart girl that she is, is all like "Sure. Whatever. What are you doing?" Henry explains, and then says that he's tried 76 combinations already, and none of them work so far.
Beatrice: What do you think's inside?
Henry: I don't know. Probably somebody's old socks
My thought: So why are you working so hard to get to them?
Henry: Some fountain pens would be cool
My thought: *slaps forehead* You are so unimaginative. This book would really suck if all there was was socks and pens in the door.
Beatrice: I think it's a treasure map
My thought: At least her imagination is better off than Henry's
Beatrice: Hey, what are those other marks on the knobs?
It is at this point that we find out that there are three more marks on the knobs. So there are two dials, and two sub-dials. Henry isn't good enough at math to figure it out, but that means that there are 6,688 possible combinations. Henry and Beatrice decide to give up for the night, and they both go to bed. But Henry can't sleep again, so he spends the night messing with the knobs again. And of course the chapter ends, so both of you and me will have to wait till next week, or whenever I feel like writing another post.
Closing thoughts:
Maybe, just maybe, something interesting might happen. And if it does, I'll finish blogging the book.
Predictions:
Henry and Beatrice unlock the cabinets, and then Henry chickens out and won't go into any of them.
Stuff that I accidentally left out, and then realized might be important later on:
I got everything this time! Whoo-hoo!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
100 Cupboards by Nathan Wilson--Part 2
After Henry "scrubbed the bones," he got into bed. Mr. Wilson went out of his way to overstate the fact that H-Dawg's quarters were bare, dingy, and not altogether pleasant. Henry laid awake for a while, looking at a poster of the Kansas City University Baseball Team.
The book said that none of the men on the team looked athletic. I can testify to this. If you look up pictures of most of the KCU baseball teams, the players are not what we would call "athletic".
When he was finished staring at the poster, Henry turned the lamp (that barely worked) off. Then, he couldn't get to sleep because of the noise that the swamp cooler (a sort of AC unit, I guess) was making.
It should be noted for your benefit that the swamp cooler was packed in place with used overalls. I think this adds nicely to the ramshackle picture of H-Dawg's room that you probably have in your head by now. Continuing with the book...
Since H-Dawg wasn't sleeping, he heard a big bump that he otherwise wouldn't have heard (the moral of the story: get to bed on time). He jumped, but Mr. Wilson said it really wierd-like: "He landed gently on his bed before he even realized that he'd jumped in suprise."
I haven't decided if this is just a different/interesting way of saying something mundane, or just wierd.
Anyway, H-Dawg was freaked out. He tried to ignore that he was freaked out, but he couldn't. He decided that he was going to go to the bathroom, flush the toilet, and run water, in order to "wash his mind with normal noise" (please see the sentence prior to this paragraph). I sense something weird is about to happen. When Henry walked to the bathroom, he saw that the light was on. The book actually says "Henry put his hand out for the knob and froze. Someone was probably inside." No duh! For serious? I never would have thought that in a hundred years! (sarcasm hand raised) Anyway, since Henry hates conversations through bathroom doors, and he hates knocking, he decided to go sit on the stairs and wait.
Doesn't he know it's rude to wait outside the bathroom door for the current occupant to evacuate? Oh, that's right, his parents were probably in Africa writing about walking through tall grass.
As Henry was sitting on the stairs, being a wimp about the noise (which is why he is not currently being called "H-Dawg"), the knob turned. An old guy stepped out of the bathroom. He basically had a monk's haircut, with the hair growing out of the sides. He was wearing a dirty white t-shirt (ew) and a purple satin robe (*raises eyebrow*). Before he went downstairs, the old guy looked at Henry with "deep, black eyes". I hope Mr. Wilson knows that there is no such thing as black eyes.
Henry woke up on the stairs, and noticed that the bathroom door was open, with the light on. He used the bathroom, then went back to his bedroom. The book said that he knew he had forgotten something, but he went to sleep as soon as he realized it.
Closing Thoughts:
I vow never to go to the bathroom at night in a virtual stranger's house, especially after thinking about baseball.
Predictions:
We find out that the old guy was "Grandpa" of "Grandpa's room" and that he has mind-control powers that made Henry doze off. We also find out that the presumed "Grandpa" has a collection of satin robes in varying shades of pink, purple, and blue.
Mr. Thin's evil designs are made known.
Stuff that I accidentally left out, and then realized might be important later on:
Not much, actually. Well, Henry had a dream that he was playing baseball and a guy in a purple robe was watching. That may be important later...
The book said that none of the men on the team looked athletic. I can testify to this. If you look up pictures of most of the KCU baseball teams, the players are not what we would call "athletic".
When he was finished staring at the poster, Henry turned the lamp (that barely worked) off. Then, he couldn't get to sleep because of the noise that the swamp cooler (a sort of AC unit, I guess) was making.
It should be noted for your benefit that the swamp cooler was packed in place with used overalls. I think this adds nicely to the ramshackle picture of H-Dawg's room that you probably have in your head by now. Continuing with the book...
Since H-Dawg wasn't sleeping, he heard a big bump that he otherwise wouldn't have heard (the moral of the story: get to bed on time). He jumped, but Mr. Wilson said it really wierd-like: "He landed gently on his bed before he even realized that he'd jumped in suprise."
I haven't decided if this is just a different/interesting way of saying something mundane, or just wierd.
Anyway, H-Dawg was freaked out. He tried to ignore that he was freaked out, but he couldn't. He decided that he was going to go to the bathroom, flush the toilet, and run water, in order to "wash his mind with normal noise" (please see the sentence prior to this paragraph). I sense something weird is about to happen. When Henry walked to the bathroom, he saw that the light was on. The book actually says "Henry put his hand out for the knob and froze. Someone was probably inside." No duh! For serious? I never would have thought that in a hundred years! (sarcasm hand raised) Anyway, since Henry hates conversations through bathroom doors, and he hates knocking, he decided to go sit on the stairs and wait.
Doesn't he know it's rude to wait outside the bathroom door for the current occupant to evacuate? Oh, that's right, his parents were probably in Africa writing about walking through tall grass.
As Henry was sitting on the stairs, being a wimp about the noise (which is why he is not currently being called "H-Dawg"), the knob turned. An old guy stepped out of the bathroom. He basically had a monk's haircut, with the hair growing out of the sides. He was wearing a dirty white t-shirt (ew) and a purple satin robe (*raises eyebrow*). Before he went downstairs, the old guy looked at Henry with "deep, black eyes". I hope Mr. Wilson knows that there is no such thing as black eyes.
Henry woke up on the stairs, and noticed that the bathroom door was open, with the light on. He used the bathroom, then went back to his bedroom. The book said that he knew he had forgotten something, but he went to sleep as soon as he realized it.
Closing Thoughts:
I vow never to go to the bathroom at night in a virtual stranger's house, especially after thinking about baseball.
Predictions:
We find out that the old guy was "Grandpa" of "Grandpa's room" and that he has mind-control powers that made Henry doze off. We also find out that the presumed "Grandpa" has a collection of satin robes in varying shades of pink, purple, and blue.
Mr. Thin's evil designs are made known.
Stuff that I accidentally left out, and then realized might be important later on:
Not much, actually. Well, Henry had a dream that he was playing baseball and a guy in a purple robe was watching. That may be important later...
